Tuesday, March 18, 2008

About Being Brave

You may have noticed the badge that I have added to my blog, the very pretty one that reads, One Thing, Be Brave. So simple, are these words, but how hard they can be to follow.

I found Jessie's blog last week and without any second thoughts, I joined her in the commitment to be Brave. After all , when I started my own blog, one of my statements and great desires was to rid myself of fear. I wrote about fear way back on Dec. the 21st. Knowing that it was the number one thing that was holding me back. Holding me back, but why, what am I afraid of?
So many things :
I guess the # 1 fear is, can I do this ?
#2- what if I can't
#3- rejection (no more need be said about that)
#4- will it hurt ? my heart & soul
#5- time
#6- and yes, I must say this, it is a reality , CAN I MAKE A LIVING , DOING MY OWN ART ????
#7 - will I let the people who Love me down ?

O.K. :) that is my list. It really is not as long as I thought it would be and I really thought about this. I am sure that if you are an artist & you are reading this, you can totally relate to my list. So, this was very good. I now have written down the things that scare me.

# 7- Is very important to me. Because, I have been an artist my whole life and I am blessed with the most wonderful people, who are wanting only the best for me. They have seen my art for a very long time and can not believe I am not the" most successful artist in the world!", ( that is not what they think, but some times it feels that way.)
Now lets be real. These are the family and friends who , and I so blessed by this, that REALLY LOVE me !! So, back to reality, what they see is a good thing. Because, I will of course never be the most amazing artist in the world. But, they are right in that, I should at the very least be able to make a living with " my own art".
I say my own art, because, if you have read my blog, you will know that I have had the great pleasure to paint for others professionally. As a scenic painter. I felt very powerful as an artist.
I could look at the designers elevations, and would know right away how to handle what they wanted. I could take non- painters and walk them threw what had to be done. I could teach as I completed the work for the show. I could.... and this is very important... paint in front of crowds of people. I loved it very much. I look at movies to this day as a scenic, one that I would have loved to work on was Nanny McPhee , (I am sure I spelled wrong) That was a most magical movie. Anyway, I also love my own art. VERY much

So, what holds me back, when I do my own work? Where is the confidence ?Where is the girl that can stand in front of a crowd and paint, with so much joy ? When you paint scenery, you are never alone. Unless it is 1:00 in the morning .
I have done many a portrait.
Many a interior design job. Faux Finish , marbre, was my favorite.

This is what I will be working on.
My first job is to work on TIME. I have learned from Lovely Jessie to is to have a montrah ,

Mine to start with is " THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME "
sounds simple, but , I feel I am always saying
"I need to slow down time, "how can it be today ?
Things are going to fast for me. "

So , I am now enjoying, TODAY, every last minute of it, and I have plenty of time !

What I am doing today that is Brave ?
I am going to introduce myself to Jessie , who is the lovely lady that inspired this post.


Jessie said...

Amy! I am so glad that you took the first step of bravery and introduced yourself to me because I am absolutely PLEASED to meet you! :)

Reading your list of fears rings so true for me as well. Uncanny, really. Or maybe not? Is that how all artists feel?? Well, I definately think it's something worth getting over and I want you to know that I am with you on this journey--whole heartedly.

It sounds as though we are striving for a very similar thing. I feel thankful for this because it reminds me that I am not alone. Nor are you.

You art, by the way, is incredible! Thanks for leaving a comment. You have made my day. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi from another Jessie! Thanks Amy for this inspiring post and for your encouragment with the portrait I've just started - you've spurred me on! :)

Anonymous said...

Amy to be an artist is to be brave. We believe what we have to say visually matters, and that others should care about what we make. Keep pushing. This blog seems to be opening you up, but... paint, paint [aint!

Anonymous said...

Hey Amy girl-
Finally got to The heart of a seed and I love "About being brave" blog most of all. Your words are so honest and beautiful to my ears. You're inspiring to me always in your ways, thoughts, art, motherliness and the true friendship that we share.
I love you Amy-forge ahead with life and all that you want it to be.


Mary said...

Hi Amy!
thanks for visitng my blog, and for your kind comment. I love this post -- I would love to be an artist (or a designer, or a photographer) but fear holds me back! I will try to be brave and take one small step...thanks for the inspirtion! Your art is amazing. :)

closed account said...

you are an amazing woman, I admire your honesty and joy for life , we all have some pain our lives , it is all part of the bigger picture here , and as such we can learn and devlop further skills, life skills, to which we sometimes can fall back on in order to move forwards , does that make sence Amy!!, im not sure if I have worded it correctly , but, all I knwo is that this post touched me , very much in a familuar place, and I commend you for being brave enough to share with us your innermost fears , it takes a certain kinda woman hun , to speak out loud ...you have just filled that space ...my love as always to you and your darling kids ...Kath xxxx

pelecypods said...

Your art work is beautiful.
I especially like the old man.
We all must be brave to a point each day.
Your blog site is wonderful and I enjoyed reading it.